Subaru, are you anorexic?
by chocopuff
Summary: Subaru looks really thin, and the Sorata and co. are determined to put that right. Better than it looks, really! R&R! XD I don't own X.


I was just thinking that Subaru was impossibly thin…and one thing led to another! R&R!!! XD

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Subaru squinted in the bright light.

"Um, Sorata-san…what's the meaning of this?" he finally asked, politeness masking the bemusement and irritation he felt.

Sorata adopted a serious expression across the table. "Subaru-san. The rest of us Dragon of Heavens have been observing your eating habits for quite some time now. We have come to the conclusion that…"

"Wait a moment," interrupted Subaru, a little cross now. "Can you shine that light elsewhere or turn it off? There's no need to treat me like a police suspect being interrogated."

"Oh, right," said Sorata apologetically as he obliged and switched off the huge lamp. "Nee-san? Could you turn on the main light? Arigato!" Then he returned his attention to Subaru, who was now clearly uncomfortable.

"As I was saying, Subaru-san," Sorata frowned. "We have thus come to the conclusion that…you're anorexic."

Silence. Subaru didn't quite know how to respond and Sorata was now smiling smugly, thinking that he had guessed right. Behind him, Arashi was wearing her usual poker face, and Yuzuriha was nodding her head in worried agreement. Kamui looked decidedly nervous, however.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to deny it," said Sorata, evidently pleased with himself. "So, are you going to come clean?"

Subaru lost it. "Are you nuts? I'm not anorexic…I…I…"then he trailed off mid-rant as he realised that he actually couldn't prove that he wasn't anorexic. After all, it was true that he barely ate. "Oh. B…but look at Kamui! He's stick-thin too!" he pointed out desperately.

Kamui's nervousness turned into full-blown panic as Sorata, Arashi and Yuzuriha's gazes naturally swivelled towards him. "I…I'm not anorexic!" he cried out in horror. "I'm not, really! Tell them, Yuzuriha-chan! I do eat! I ate all of your cream croquettes the other time!"

Sorata frowned. "And how many croquettes was that?"

Yuzuriha thought about it. Then she remembered. " Ten! And he ate them all at one go! Oh, plus he does eat regular meals…"

Sorata shrugged dramatically. "Then that's OK. You aren't anorexic."

Kamui breathed a sigh of relief. Sorata could be a terror sometimes….or was it most of the time?

Subaru made another desperate attempt to divert attention away from him. "He…he ate ten in a row! He…he could be bulimic!"

Sorata paused to consider it, and looked at Arashi. Arashi shook her head. "Nah, a growing boy like Kamui needs all the food he can get. Just because Kamui eats more in one sitting than you eat in a month doesn't mean he's bulimic. And that's actually saying a lot…"

He exchanged a significant look with Arashi and Yuzuriha. "I think we should force feed you."

Subaru stared at Sorata in disbelief. "You're not serious."

Sorata grinned. "I am. Aren't we?"

Arashi and Yuzuriha nodded solemnly.

Subaru decided that it would be best for himself if he made his escape now. He tried to discreetly stand up…but was stopped by Sorata's firm hand on his shoulder.

"You're not going anywhere, Subaru-san!" Sorata said sternly. "You need all the energy for your work and to support the Dragon of Heavens."

That reminded Subaru. He tried to delicately slip a hand into his pocket for one of his shikigamis…

"…And in case you're going to try any onmyoujutsu, we called in a Dragon of Earth. Just this once."

Subaru had a bad feeling, ad it materialised in the form of a shower of pink cherry blossoms. Seishirou appeared, smiling cheerfully as if dropping by the Dragon of Heavens' house to assist in force feeding was something he did everyday. But then, he did worse things most of the time. Like stick his hand through people's hearts. Behind him, Kamui shot Subaru a sympathetic but helpless look.

"Ah, Seishirou-san! I presume you know what you're here for?" Sorata greeted the visitor. Seishirou inclined his head gravely.

"Of course. My Subaru-kun's health is of the utmost importance. So then, shall we proceed?"

Subaru attempted to wriggle out once more.

"I…I have a job to get to…" he said frantically, trying to rise. Then Seishirou pushed him down, and despite Subaru knack for onmyoujutsu, he couldn't quite fight both Sorata and Seishirou.

"No, no," said Seishirou, grinning wickedly. "Arashi-san?"

Arashi stepped forward solemnly, carrying some rope. Before Subaru could blink, he found himself tied tightly to his chair.

"Yuzuriha-chan?"

Yuzuriha hurried forward, carrying a tray laden down with sushi, ramen…and Pocky.

Seishirou and Sorata both raised eyebrows when they saw the Pocky, but decided not to comment.

"Well, then, Subaru-kun! Open wide…" crooned Seishirou.

Subaru almost gagged as a piece of tuna was unceremoniously stuffed into his mouth. "…Mmph!"

"I wanna force feed Subaru-san too!" yelled Yuzuriha excitedly.

"OK," agreed Seishirou generously.

Yuzuriha then stuffed a whole box of Pocky into Subaru's already full mouth.

Subaru, choking, looked to Kamui for help, but the boy had already quietly slipped out in the name of self-preservation. He groaned, then choked again as Sorata slapped him on the back.

"You'd better swallow that, Subaru-san! It's no use holding it in your mouth." Sorata cheerfully warned him.

Subaru found himself unable to explain that it wasn't because he didn't want to, but rather because he couldn't. He instead devoted his energy to choking down the food in his mouth and inwardly resigned himself to being stuffed to the point of vomiting.

Then that would make me a bulimic, he thought humourlessly, then gagged again as Yuzuriha stuffed a piece of sushi in his mouth.

Outside…

Kamui winced as he heard Subaru's moaning. He didn't envy Subaru's position in the least. He was just thankful that Yuzuriha didn't remember that he promptly left the table after each meal…to the washroom, where he regurgitated the contents of his stomach. Subaru had almost revealed his secret.

He really wasn't anorexic.

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I hope you liked it! Please review!!! XD


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